Many parents wonder how to strike a balance of healthy concern when it comes to their child’s mental health. We spoke with two of our BCHP therapists, Alyssa Renz, MHC-LP, and Jaden Bjaelker, MHC-LP, to learn more about this important topic. You are your child’s number one mental health advocate, and there are a variety of things you can do to encourage and protect their emotional well-being.
“Children are not born with the tools to handle their emotions, which makes them feel ‘big,’ and can then lead to various behaviors that seem ‘big’ as well,” says Renz. Because some of this is part of normal development, signs a child is struggling can be easy to miss. That’s why it is imperative that you assess your child’s baseline. This means monitoring their usual behavior and moods, so that you know when something has changed or seems off.
As your child’s parent or caregiver, you know them best. Kids go through ups and downs all the time with things like school stress, friendships, moving, and puberty. When something warrants professional support, there are usually a few key differences. The changes tend to be longer lasting (weeks to months rather than days), more intense, affect multiple areas of life, and might seemingly be getting worse instead of improving over time. You may notice signs like mood swings, sleep changes, stomachaches, or social withdrawal.
“One of the biggest things I tell parents is that if it’s interfering with your child’s daily functioning, it’s worth looking into. Sometimes kids do grow out of things, but early support can make a huge difference,” says Bjaelker.
She adds that creating a home environment where your child feels safe to open up about how they are feeling is the single best step you can take. While many parents want their children to talk to them, kids don’t always feel comfortable sharing difficult emotions, especially if they’re worried about getting in trouble, being misunderstood, or upsetting their parents. The following tips go a long way in helping children feel heard and supported:
Children and teens with mental health challenges may exhibit behavioral or physical symptoms. If you see any of the below signs, consider reaching out to your pediatrician. You can mention changes you’ve noticed, when they started, how often they’re happening, or any relevant life changes or stressors.
You can also try to talk to your child by saying something like: “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately, and I just wanted to check in” or “Sometimes when things feel hard, talking about it can help and I’m here to listen.” If they don’t open up right away, that’s okay. Sometimes just knowing you’re available makes it easier for them to come back later.
Behavioral symptoms:
Physical symptoms:
Renz says your child doesn’t have to have a serious problem to benefit from a therapy appointment. Taking them to therapy can mean you are being proactive and giving your child the tools to navigate what they are going through. You are setting them up for success, both now and in the future.
Once your pediatrician has referred your child to a therapist, you will likely meet with the counselor without your child for an intake appointment. This allows you to discuss background information, concerns, and any goals you have for your child. The therapist will also explain how confidentiality works and what information stays private or may be shared for safety reasons. Then you can both agree to a plan and your child’s sessions will start.
“Therapy can be short term, long term, or used as a maintenance tool. The stigma of mental health is still here, but through normalizing our emotions and teaching our children that needing help is normal, I hope that we can start closing the gap of hesitancy. Allow therapists to be a supportive member of your village,” says Bjaelker.