Boston Children's Health Physicians Emotional Dysregulation During the Holidays

The holiday season is often filled with excitement, fun, and celebratory events. The sights, sounds, and busy schedules, however, can be overwhelming, especially for children. Changes in routine, sensory overstimulation, and heightened anticipation can sometimes lead to emotional dysregulation. Your child may exhibit increased anxiety, irritability, low tolerance for frustration, and/or mood fluctuations when this occurs. BCHP’s Mental Health & Wellness therapist Dr. Eileen Rafferty Noonan, shares why this happens and how you can help your child manage big feelings during the holiday season.

Why Emotional Dysregulation Happens

Emotional dysregulation occurs when a child has trouble managing their emotions in a way that is appropriate for the situation. Younger children and those who have difficulty with transitions and/or sensory sensitivities are especially prone to becoming overwhelmed or overstimulated during the holiday season.

Throughout the holidays, there are many contributing factors that may impact your child’s ability to regulate their mood. These may include:

• Changes in routine and sleep hygiene (later bedtimes, skipped naps, travel)
• Sensory overload (loud music, crowds, flashing lights)
• Increased stimulation (new toys, loud music, excitement, change in diet, busy schedules)
• Social engagement (meeting new people, large gatherings, social pressure)

Signs Your Child Might Be Dysregulated

Dysregulation can look different in every child, but common signs include:

• Irritability and low tolerance for frustration
• Increased anxiety
• Difficulty regulating their emotions/mood (crying, tantrums)
• Difficulty regulating behaviors (hitting, kicking, shoving)
• Sudden withdrawal or refusal to participate
• Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
• Complaints of stomachaches or headaches without a clear cause

Helping Your Child Cope Through the Holidays

You cannot always prevent your child from becoming dysregulated, but you can take steps to help your child manage their mood and feel more supported. These steps include:

• Maintain routines. Try to keep consistent meal and sleep times whenever possible
• Build in breaks. Quiet time in a calm space can help your child reset during events
• Prepare your child for changes. Let your child know in advance what the day may look like and who they may see
• Prepare for possible overstimulation. Provide noise-canceling headphones (if your child presents with auditorysensitivities), sensory fidget toys such as putty or sensory cubes, and/or have your child bring a favorite comfort item to busy gatherings.
• Increase physical movement to help release sensory overload
• Be mindful of dietary changes. Foods high in sugar content and caffeine can impact mood and sleep.
• Model calm behavior. Children take cues from adults. When you remain calm while interacting with your child, they are more likely to follow your lead.
• Check in with your child periodically to give them an opportunity to express how they are feeling and to express their sensory needs

When to Seek Extra Support

If your child’s reactions seem extreme, happen frequently, or occur even beyond the holiday season, talk to yourpediatrician. They can help determine if additional support would be beneficial.

Remember, the holidays do not have to be perfect to be memorable. By understanding the signs of emotional dysregulation and using simple strategies, you can help your child enjoy the season in a way that feels comfortable and manageable. 

The providers in BCHP’s Mental Health and Wellness division are here to help with any concerns about your child’semotional and behavioral health during the holidays and throughout the year.

Happy Holidays!